Does Your Lip Butter Have Attitude?

It used to be that the ONLY definition of the word ATTITUDE was:
"a personal view of something."

In more recent times, that definition has been almost completely replaced by a new meaning:
"an arrogant or assertive manner or stance assumed as a challenge or for effect". 

This new perspective on an old word has in fact been embraced. Sure, many will hear or utter the question, "Why do you have such an attitude?" at least three or four hundred times in their lifespans, but think about it. 

Don't you secretly respect those with said attitude and back off when they start throwing it around?

I was in the drug store today and spotted something curious...a small yellow box boasting about it's contents...peach mango lip butter with an ATTITUDE! 

Lip butter?  Really? And I'm sorry, but when I think of peach mango, attitude is not what comes to mind. 

I got to thinking:
*How would one know if peach mango lip butter really did have an attitude? 
*Would we feel a little sting when applying it? 
*Would it have a bitter taste? 

Then I realized that it didn't really have to do anything. If the box said it had attitude, that was good enough for the easily influenced consumer. There was only one left on the shelf in front of me, and I thought,"Wow! This kind of advertising really works!"

It shook me up a bit to think that BAD ASS sells better than POSITIVE ATTITUDE. And then I remembered the first time I met my friend, Val McKenna. We were chaperoning an elementary school trip to Fire Island and I was making polite conversation. We had just seen a small snake in the bushes and everyone got very excited. It made me miss an old friend, so I mentioned it.

Me:"Ya know that snake has the same coloring as a boa constrictor I used to own."
Val:You used to have a boa constrictor??...as a pet?!
Me:(tearing up): Yeah, his name was Bart and we used to watch TV together.
Val:Your SNAKE watched TV?!
Me:It was our special time. He loved the warmth of my hair, so he'd crawl up my back and get inside of it. Then, he'd poke his head out on top of mine, and we'd sit on the bed and watch TV.
Val:Wow Chris! You're really "bad ass"!

I sniffled a few more times and thought of Bart in his hobo bag, hanging off my back,calm and content as I waded through many an Octoberfest looking for trinkets I would never need.

After a few moments, my sadness cleared a bit and as I gathered sassafras as a gift for my then beau, I contemplated what she had said. Was I really "bad ass" for sharing special moments with my beloved pet boa? It was hard to fathom, especially when I remembered how if it wasn't for the guy I lived with, poor Bart would've starved! I would rather have died than touch those gross, vicious mice and rats that Bart ate once a day!


When I look at Facebook posts or Tweets, I see that the more popular folks are the ones with obvious ATTITUDE.

For example, here's a Tweep who thinks she can take on the government: "You are holding the country hostage to forward the agenda of the few. The FEW. Do not make me get on a bus to DC!"
And TKT, thanks for proving my point: "My library account said I was DELINQUENT. I kinda liked the sound of that. A quick renewal and I wasn't nearly as cool anymore."

With documentation like that, I had to concede, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em".  I mean, I want to sell my writing, don't I?

In an effort to be original, and in the interest of not stealing anyone's ad campaign, I pulled up the handy thesaurus on Google, and looked up ATTITUDE. 

Five failed substitutions later, I was left with the conclusion that somehow "KAFE CASTRO, the short story with TEMPERAMENT" wasn't nearly as worthy sounding as:

"KAFE CASTRO, never short on ATTITUDE"...now I get it.    

 

CFWinn is the award winning author of THE COFFEE BREAK SERIES; a hilarious set of short stories designed to keep you entertained while on a coffee break or in the waiting room at the doctor's office. They are available on Amazon for Kindle http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004SUOUT0 or Barnes and Noble for Nook http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/kafe-castro-christina-fifield-winn/1029889457?ean=2940012133182
Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States. She is a resident of Lindenhurst and will be at the Mayor's Beautification Society Garden Show on May 19th.