Every school yard has one...the single mother. She's easily identified as the pretty young thing that sashays onto the blacktop wearing tight,revealing clothes and flirting with all of the dads. A threat, waiting for the perfect moment to bed as many husbands as possible.
Yeah baby! Ready to take pen to the paper?
YAWN! That's a typical mid life crisis, wet dream kind of story...exciting, but only to the guy who wakes up having to wash his sheets the next day. The MILF fantasy from the perspective of the horny guy and the jealous wife is predictable on and off the pages.
Take a look:
Today, a man phone-tapped his wife on Z-100. He had Danielle Monaro pose as the notorious single mother and call to ask if said man would "swing by her house and put a shelf up".
The wife was not happy. She called her husband and sarcastically bestowed on him the title of, "Friendly Guy of the Year".
She informed Danielle that she felt comfortable speaking for all the mothers at school by saying that Danielle had "overstepped" by taking her hubby up on HIS offer to "give her a hand if she ever needed it".
And there you have it. The stereotypic response to a woman who calls this couple's house and DOESN'T hang up when the wife answers. They have an entire conversation, and the big bad single mother states that she isn't looking to sleep with the woman's husband. Shockingly, the wife doesn't believe her.
Then the husband admits to having regular dialogue with this woman and to offering her assistance, but still, his agenda must be to sneak around and have an affair.
Snooze, cat nap, deep sleep...
Wifey also addressed the single mom's wardrobe. She said she comes to pick up her kids with her boobs falling out. Wow! Wardrobe malfunctions at the elementary school! Where do THEY live?
Let's jump out of crazy jealous Wifey's head, and into one of a sane person. Has anyone who's ever gotten a boob job done it with the intention of hiding them behind high necked, loosely fitting clothes? Most teens and twenty somethings, or even those that look like them, show it as long as they can, fearing in the back of their minds that one day they may not have it to show anymore.
Juices should be flowing...inching over into another perspective...wait for it...
Why is this woman single?
Build the character.
Is she divorced? Is she a widow? Was she never married but left alone to raise her baby-daddy's kids?
Suddenly, this threat is a human being with some depth.
Would a woman in any one of these situations feel so bad that she might feel she needs a little attention just to get through the day? Maybe it's not YOUR HUSBAND she's after, but an anonymous glance.
And here's one to chew on: Did she dress that way, not for your husband, but for the guy at work she's interested in? And she doesn't have time to change before picking up the kids?
I was that single mother. I had three kids and didn't look like it. Blessed with good genes, I looked ten years younger than my actual age. I wasn't willing to dress in the standard sweatpants and t-shirt uniform I so often see at school pickups. I was working multiple jobs and feeling bad about the situation my kids and I were in. I knew that if I let myself go completely, I'd never recover.
When someone was nice enough to say "Hello" to me, I certainly wasn't going to be rude or turn down adult conversation.
From the perspective of THIS single mother, I spent a long time mourning the loss of partnership...not looking for it. When I was finally ready to get back out there, I wasn't looking for a guy who was already taken, or one with kids. I already had three.
I would have loved it if someone would have shown me some kindness by offering to help me out with anything. I didn't have the time, energy or know-how to do many of the things that needed to get done. If a man would have come to help AND brought his wife along, maybe she and I could have been friends. I would have been so grateful because being the single girl can be awfully lonely and isolating at times.
And on behalf of MILFs everywhere, do we want YOUR HUSBANDS, the middle aged, beer bellied, balding guys we see at the schoolyard?
The moral to this story is: There are always two sides, and perspective can mean writing the "usual, been told a hundred times book", or the "thinking outside the box, blockbuster hit".
CF Winn is the award-winning author of The COFFEE BREAK SERIES, a hilarious group of short stories meant to be read while on break or in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Her first novella, SUKI, has been grabbing hearts and hugging souls all over the United States.
